Without any signal, I’ve suddenly dipped into the valley of dry season. This is my driest moment of my 4 yrs in church.

Four years is not a long period. Nor is it a short time. For past 4 yrs, i've been actively attending church events and faithfully attending cellgroups and services. Usually one would go from glory to glory, and grow stronger in faith thru the years. I did. But all of a sudden, things changed.

Disappointments from people and friends around, even from myself, seems to hit me almost everyday. I feel as if I'm slowly diminishing from this world.

While I'm still walking on slowly in this valley, it suddenly dawn on me how others feel while going thru such dry season. God is indeed amazing. To think that one can still learn something while going thru such a dry infertile season.

Months ago when one of my friend was going thru one of her toughest time in life, I was worried and tried my best reaching out to her. However, many times she gave me reactions which I felt puzzling and in lack, for I did not know how to help her more. Now I'm experiencing similar kind of feelings and struggles which she had gone thru, I finally understood.

"Why do you want to do this?" Obviously, i have my own reasoning behind everything i do.

"But u know, u should....." There is no perfect right or wrong. Only difference in perception.

"How can you think in this way?" Hmm.... It's my brain...

After weeks of concerns from the friends I know, made me realise how exactly my girlfriend, C, felt during her time of dryness. There are dozens of thoughts in our mind running. Good and bad, positive and negative. Especially each word others say, generate another thought from our brain cells.

"But I think you should..." Yes, i know what you mean. Logically and spiritually speaking, maybe i should do what you are saying. I know, of cos I know. But... It's ok. I pray that you'll not have to go thru the same dryness that I'm in right now. But IF you happen to get in one, you'll understand what I mean.

"Well, then i think u shouldn't even... " Oh well, well, it's my life i'm living. Remember, judge not or you'll be judge. Every word you speaks marks an imprint into other's life. Good or bad. Not every word one speaks is edifying. I'm learning that as well.

"I'm so disappointed with you..." Yes, I'm disappointed with myself too. And with my friends who said that. Bcos they don't understand what I'm going through and thinks that they do. Remember, don't always think that you know all. Cause you may not. I'm talking about myself.

Slowly, i begin to realise that I don't have much friends around me. Friends who really can talk and understands us. Friends who will be with us through thick and thin. There's no one I can really confide to.

"Why do you say this?" If I say A, what will you say? B? C? or D? Will it be words that I'm avoiding for the day? Will it be things that I don't wish to hear, especially in this period? It's such a touchy question.

I've come to understand what it means that "judge not or you'll be judge".

Sometimes, when someone do or say something not 'right' according to your knowledge, it does not equate to "wrong attitude" or "wrong spirit". It just mean, we have a different kind of preference, and most importantly, we have our own sets of reasoning.

What does a person in dry season need? Not questions. Not your reasoning. It's edification. Think deep. It's encouragement. Sincere encouragement. It's means affirmations from people around us. It means acknowledgement from the people we love. I thank God for this time of reflection and understanding to all these, at least, I know how to help others in similar situations in future.

Though as dry as this season may be, I believe I can triumph this battle soon. All I need is time.